johnnyr0tten

haha figured id make an entry now since i havent been online in months.  been hibernating.  ofcourse.  and its only like i have a few friends here anyways.  hey guys.

how they clear my head and make me happy. tonights walk- 1:30 am.

I think i have the least amount of people involved in my life in a long time.  it kind of scares me a lot.

that is exactly how it feels my life is going right now.  i dont do a hell of a lot right now.  i think im withdrawing again.  which would not be good cus it always makes me feel so somber, and it takes a bit to get out of again. i dont know tho.  i guess im just waiting for something to go right, seeing as how i just keep getting let down by all these people who i should trust without any hesitation, like, for example my mother.  whos word i dont ever trust anymore.

would you trust your mother if she doesnt bother to see you on your own birthday, yet puts in so much effort to see your sisters almost every day?


oh.  btw.  saw some one from my past who cheated on me today.  my heart fell through the souls of my shoes.  probably one of the worst feelings ever.  in that instant i felt so small. i wish they could see how horrible of a person they really are.  wait till they get to feel what its like.......  :-(

um.  can we just take a look at this nonsense and discuss the fact that theyre making a chun li movie.not like a movie about street fighter, or another attempt rather, but, a movie specifically about chun li.  oh dear me.

all ye scurvy dogs best be jealous.  my pumpkin will probably be more likely to come to life and eat people than yours.  just sayin.

Many will start to realize that this will seem to be a common trend in my life.  Late nights awake, when i have to be up earlier than appreciated.  It happens more when than when i have no reason to be up in the morning.  Just to be inconvenient.

Alas.  I am bored, tired, but insomniacly impaired.  way too much streaming through my head and not enough space to handle the traffic.  apparently, i am a terrible friend because i invited some one out who had previous plans.  when they were told to just go with me anyhow by the person they had plans with, it all blew up into a mushroom cloud of 8th grade drama.  much to the line of when you are supposed to know exactly what they are thinking and expecting you to do, despite the fact that they say exactly the opposite.  Now not only is my friend uninvited to her birthday whatever for "ditching" her for me despite what she told her to do, i am too.  sorry...?

plus im lonely.  im more than ok with being single, but inside im practically sobbing for some one to think more highly of me.
    totally love not having the ridiculous stress level like when i have some one im involved with, worrying about whether or not they really like me or whatnot, the usual high school shit.  also like not having to concern myself with whether or not theyre being honest and like the cheating using little scumbags ive gone through.  but id love to feel cared about.  would be an awesomely great change from the ordinary trend of being the single one out of a lot of people i am around.

the fact that i live in god-knows-where east bum doesnt help. god am i bored.

Shannon made me do it.  That is all for now.